Seniors Who Constantly Talk About Their Health Problems

This is a rant.

elderly_sick_1237709cI have two words for Senior Citizens who constantly talk about their health problems when you meet them. Well, actually four words, but I’ll be nice: SHUT UP! It’s gotten to the point that I can’t have a normal conversation with anyone my age anymore. Hey! Did you know that I have severe lung problems because of my time ( 5 months) spent in Florida inhaling all that second-hand smoke? Of course you don’t and you know why? Because I never talk about it. It’s MY problem and I’m handling it. Why would I want to burden anyone else with my health problems?

I call up my girlfriend to say hi and all I hear about is that her husband needs another knee replacement and how awful and difficult their every days are. I meet a friend on the street and I have to endure at least 20 minutes of her telling me about her husbands botched stent operation. I see a neighbor, stop to say hello and wind up hearing about their cholesterol level, pacemaker operation and restless leg syndrome.

Really? Do these people think they are the only ones on the planet with health issues? As we get older we are ALL going to develop health problems. But that doesn’t mean we have to stop living and spend our time talking about it all the time. Aren’t we entitled to live out the lonely-old-manrest of our lives in peace and quiet?

I don’t get any relief at home. Ever since my husband was diagnosed with an aortic aneurysm, that’s all he talks about. All.Day.Long. I have to listen to his discussions on his salt intake. He monitors his blood pressure every 15 minutes. I have to hear about how he can’t be too far from a heart center once his aneurysm reaches a certain size. He’s already researching heart surgeons for when he needs open heart surgery 10 years from now! I have to listen to his dietary indiscretions. His sugar avoidance. I can’t eat that. I can’t eat this. I can’t do this. I can’t do that. It’s become a nightmare if and when we got to a restaurant. Dressing on the side. No salt in the preparation.

It’s gotten to the point that I have already planned and envisioned my life without him. I’m already looking for a new neighborhood to move to, alone and self-sufficient.

Rather than enjoy my life in the here and now, I’m bombarded with hubby’s and people’s illnesses. Whereby, I don’t give a rat’s ass because I am determined to enjoy each and every day I have been given. UGH! I have my own health problems too BUT I don’t dwell on them, research them or think about the ‘what ifs’. There’s a good chance I could develop lung cancer from all the damage that was done to me from second-hand smoke. But I’m not sitting around waiting for it to happen! Duh!

I understand that sometimes all older people want from others is just a listening ear. I get that. If that’s what you need and want, most hospitals have support groups. Go to the meetings and pour your hearts out. But please don’t burden us lay people with your troubles. Please don’t make your problems, our problems. Life is so hard as it is. Perhaps if you put a smile on your face and talk about something else, like the weather or your hobby, you might feel a bit better. I don’t know. But it is worth a try.

elderly_couple_sick_810_500_75_s_c1Or you could wind up like this couple, pictured here. They’ve given up on trying to make their lives as good as it can get. They are contemplating suicide, which is becoming more and more common. Stop thinking about your health issues. Stop talking and dwelling on it. Your mind controls your body. What you think, becomes what you feel. The power of suggestion, is just that: very powerful. Until then, I must excuse myself from your company because you are not going to drag me down with you.

End of rant.

 

10 comments

  1. You can rant any time! If it wasn’t so serious, it would be funny!

    I wanted to tell you that our recently-retired friends just moved back from Sarasota, FL. They were there for 2 years and decided retirement in FL wasn’t worth it. They built a condo, enjoyed the resort-style life, made a few friends, but it was crowded and ‘old’. They woke up one Friday morning and realized that they were going to miss their grandson FIRST little league game the next day. They packed a bag, jumped on a plane and came back home. It took a few trips back and forth to figure things out, but they have sold their condo and moved back into their old house. This summer, they are putting in a pool (for the grand kids) and renovating their house with the profits from the sale of their condo. AND they couldn’t be happier!

    They are thankful they didn’t listen to their financial advisor when he said they should sell their house before retiring to FL! Go figure…

    Like

    • Chris this is music to my ears. Sooooooo, I’m not the only one. Sarasota, named thee 1st best place to retire IS A NIGHTMARE!!! Ditto for us. We enjoyed the first 1.5 years at our resort style condo but then reality set in. You can NOT retire to Florida. It is just unsustainable.
      We’ve taken the profit we made on the sale of our condo and used it to fix up our NY home the best we can. I thought about getting a pool but we have a great lake around the corner and a great community pool (which we will be joining!).
      We are so, so happy to be back, that we didn’t sell or become trapped in Florida land. Truthfully, who knew? It was always such a long, life dream of mine. To have a dream turn out to be a nightmare was saddening, to say the least.
      Praise God. He saved us from making a terrible mistake!
      BTW, this Sunday our #1 granddaughter turns 5 and we will be there to celebrate. Next month granddaughter #2, turns three! We bought tix to see a real broadway show, Aladdin and we’re all going out for a fab dinner on the town in NYC. So happy to be back!!
      Thanks for sharing your story with me. I have to show it to hubby. He’ll love it! XOXOXOXO

      Like

      • That’s wonderful! Your grand babies are so fortunate to have you guys. Enjoy them!

        My friend said that she and her hubby spent YEARS planning and strategizing this ‘great’ retirement in FL and that they forgot to value what they had.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Chris, tell your friends that I thank them very much for sharing their story with you. I had been so hard on myself and felt like such a failure. I too also planned to retire to Florida and buy a dreamy condo. What a let down indeed. But, as hubby said, we wouldn’t have known the truth unless we tried. If we didn’t try we would have regretted it all our lives. Wouldda, coudda, shouldda.
        Hubby and I also forgot to value what we already had.
        Live and learn.
        Thanks again for your comment.

        Like

  2. OMG, I am so with you. Not only do these people talk endlessly about themselves, but they never ask YOU how you are, even if you mentioned you only have a month to live. 😀 Honestly, I have cut those people out of my life. Life is just too short. Also, there are the oldies who talk constantly about their children and grandchildren, with absolutely no interest in yours. I don’t want all our conversations to be a struggle, so again I have moved on from some of them. Quality over quantity, I say.

    And while I’m ranting, I did have to have a serious talk with my own husband about talking constantly about his ills while mine were passed over. Ahem, I may have actually raised my voice a tad. But, being a loving guy, he got the message and changed his behavior.

    Like

    • Anne? Harriet? Two names showed up. Anyway, it’s you. Glad your hubby caught on. I had to raise my voice a bit but my hubby caught on too when I had him drive me over to new townhouses being built in our area. Why do you want to go, he asked? To figure out where I’m living after you’re gone. ‘Nuff said. Needless to say, we didn’t go.
      The only elderly people I can listen to all day are those in their 90’s and above. What wisdom comes out of their mouths! Priceless. They talk about celebrities (one I knew actually met Fanny Brice!) and the economy and technology. Amazing.
      Other than that, I’m gone!
      Thank you so much for your comment.

      Like

  3. I’m so glad I found this. Last night, at a social dinner at a retirement park, a complete stranger sat next to me and chewed my ears off about her and her husband’s illnesses. She went into great detail and looked at me for something, I don’t know what. She didn’t ask me who I was, where I was from -nada. I got up, excused mysel, went to the buffet and sat elsewhere. I will not be held hostage by a self-centered person. I’m not paid to be a therapist so I have no qualms about removing myself from this kind of situation. I got some health issues myself, but no one, including myself, wants to ait them out in public.

    Thanks for letting me know I’m not the only one who loathes this all too-common nasty habit.

    Like

    • Hi Jean. You did the right thing. Sometimes people become so wrapped up in themselves, they see nothing else. We all have something wrong somewhere. It’s best to take good care of ourselves but be pleasant to be around and not burden others with our private matters.
      Thank you so much for your comment.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.