What If You Had To Live Alone

DH is gone this week on a business trip. He took on a (easy) project because he is determined to buy himself another smallish sailboat. It’s not in our savings or budget for another boat so he decided to go out and earn the extra money. DH is way more materialistic than I could ever be. He’s the one who decided where we were going to live when we downsized for our retirements. I had chosen a much poorer county because the cost of living was less expensive, the property taxes were extremely low AND there was no school tax (because there aren’t many schools, duh?)

But nooooooooooo. He had to live in a neighborhood that was much more upscale than what I had recommended. And with the upscaled neighborhood came higher cost-of-living expenses, higher taxes (the school taxes here are quadruple what the property taxes are). We can not shop locally here. Everything is way too expensive. We have to get in the car, drive 24 miles RT and cross over a toll bridge and go to the cheapest neighborhood around in order to afford groceries and other necessities.

Which brings me to the recent question I asked myself the other day. Now that DH is out of the house for a while, it has given me some time to think and ponder: where would I live if I had to live alone? First off, it certainly wouldn’t be where I am living right now. The place is too big for little ole me and requires way too much input from me just to maintain it (employ a gardener, handy man etc). I’d have to hire AND pay someone just to clear out the barn of all his crap, tools and junk (do you know he’s got a 2000 Cherokee Jeep in there, fully un-assembled since 2006!!!) Then I would rent it out for extra income!

What if the hot water heater blows? Who would put in and take out the window air conditioners? Who would jump start the generator back-up system when the power goes out (which it often does)? I could handle getting a new washer, dryer and roof replacement, as well as hiring painters, carpenters yada, yada, yada, BUT IS THAT REALLY WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MYSELF? I’m exhausted just thinking about all of this.

My town does have an independent living apartment complex (and I know no one smokes cigarettes in that friggin’ place!) but they charge $500,000 just to get into a one bedroom apartment (with a 90% refund after you’re dead, which would go to my undeserving daughters). I didn’t even ask what the monthly fees would be because whatever they are they wouldn’t be as cheap as what I am paying now to live in my home ($813 a month covers taxes, insurance, heat and electricity but NOT maintenance).

If I did stay in my home here, I’d be awfully lonely. Don’t laugh but did you know, despite living here for 17 years I don’t have one single friend? I’m an introvert. That’s why I originally thought moving to Sarasota and buying a condo near my brother and sister was ideal. But we all know how that plan didn’t work out.

The next (poorer) town over from me has low-income apartments which I would most certainly qualify for. I have mentioned this to DH but he won’t have any part of it. As I said, I am not as materialistic as he is, so I would immediately place myself on the waiting list. I’d have to make sure first, however, that the building I move in to is smoke free. We can get things like that here in New York (praise God!)

The next thing I would do is trade in my RV travel trailer for a driveable, but sleepable van. I’d probably have to extend a loan out on it but maybe not. If I sold the marital domain and moved into a low income apartment I might be able to pay for the van in full (they ARE expensive!) I’d take my trusty dog with me and drive to places I didn’t go to before because you-know-who didn’t want to go there (like Cape May in New Jersey).

If I lived alone, I would never, ever cook for myself. The independent living complex has all the amenities and meal services any foodie could desire (they only hire chefs who have graduated from the CIA (Culinary Institution of America…it’s right down the road). They have a gym and an indoor, heated pool, lots of activities, plus I can keep my car parked outside. It would be ideal for me because I wouldn’t want to do anything if I lived alone. The complex would do it for me (hint: they have heated concrete walkways. Le Sigh.)

diet foods

As soon as hubby left on Monday, I hopped in my car, drove over the bridge, stopped at Wal Mart and bought a ton of (diet) ready made foods. If I get bored with these, I have no qualms about going to our local diner, and eating alone! Since he’s been gone, I cleaned the house ONCE and it has stayed clean since. Including the bath tub! There’s no garbage to throw out because I don’t make any garbage. And there’s no laundry to do because I don’t dirty my clothes so fast.

Nonetheless, my life would be lost and lonely without DH, so for now, everything stays the way it is. Eventually he’ll get his smallish sailboat (and that’ll be another hunk of crap the junk man will have to haul out of here) and all will be right in our home. For a while.

If I should pass first, DH would be as happy as a pig in sh**t. He can (and will) handle everything around here. He did hire someone to mow and shovel but other than that, this place is his kingdom domain.

Me? You’ll find me at the microwave warming up my TV dinner.




  1. You and me both!! I’ve told my whole family that if DH dies, my first call will be to the funeral home and my second will be to the realtor. I’m fed up and sick and tired of trying to keep order of his stuff. I’d love living where I didn’t have to worry about maintenance and if I had meals prepared for me, I’d think I’d died and gone to Heaven.


    • Florence, I love my husband but I love being catered to much much more. LOL! That independent living apartment is looking better and better. Hang in there! Thanks, of course, for your great comment!


  2. My husband would collect junk and unfinished projects if I let him. We have never had the space you have and I’m a mean b****h so it only happens on a very small scale. 😀 We downsized and paid cash into an 1100 square foot house so he is extremely happy about that and can only clutter the garage ever so slightly because it is so small that we have to grease the two cars to get them both in at night. I can’t stand keeping stuff around that isn’t used. Drives me nuts.

    I know the Florida thing didn’t work out, but you could still think about living near your relatives there. How about a no smoking condo near them?


    • Hi Anne. My sister and I just started checking spots out in a few towns over from where we were. It may take a while but it just may be my only solution in my old age.
      My husband can’t clutter up our home BUT his barn is another story. There’s so much stuff in there, even he is overwhelmed!
      I’m like you. I can’t stand clutter.
      Thanks for your comment.


  3. Hi Cindi, I stayed in my large colonial by myself for twelve years now and it definitely is the cheapest alternative, $700 A month. A Midwest cousin sent a joke to me about checking into the Holiday Inn Express when he needs a nursing home.
    A widow friend of mine uses restaurant and Groupon coupons for buy one get one free dinners and brings the second one home along with leftovers and supplements this with a roasted chicken and salad in a bag, a dozen eggs, oatmeal, coffee, fruit, and occasional hot meals from Market 32. She hates to cook. I still make large family size meals and eat on them for days. I love when ShopRite has the lasagna ingredients on sale and I make a tray and freeze individual portions as my favorite go to frozen alternative along with stuffed shells. Love soup and freeze individual portions of these too for go to meals.
    When I get tired of cooking or shopping I will use one of the grocery store delivery services and have them deliver more of their prepared food items for $4.95 -$6.95 charge. Do you have these services like PeaPod and ShopRite from home in your area?
    I find getting motivated to do house work the hardest thing now. There are so many other choices to fill my time and I have gotten out of my old schedule. So, I am trying to get that routine morning chores mindset back.
    I came home yesterday from helping my son with my eighteen month grandson while his wife was at a business conference and the squirrels and chipmunks had eaten all of my tomatoes and broken the plants. The birds had eaten all my raspberries. The squash bugs had infested the zucchini. That’s it, the garden is gone for next year! I will buy the produce at the new farmers market that opened on Saturday at the local school.
    The rain has prevented my lawn guy getting my grass cut. It looks awful.


    • Hi Kara. You have some good ideas in there. Thanks. I know the time will come when I might have to hire a cleaning person. Ugh. My grass looks like a mess too. The rain is just awful.
      You’re right. Staying here is the cheapest. Till something else better comes along.
      Thanks for your comment


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