One of the main things I try to accomplish every single day (while under this Coronavirus threat) is try to maintain a steady home life. By that, I mean I am keeping up with my daily cleaning routine, laundry routine and meal preparation. When I’m under extreme stress, however, which I am currently, I tend not to eat. This is a very bad thing because it’s imperative that I keep up my health. Nonetheless, I just can’t seem to eat anything other than very plain, simple, boring foods. And only in very small quantities.
Needless to say, I’m losing weight. Rapidly. While some may think that’s a good thing, I don’t. I know my extra weight has kept me strong. The last time this happened to me, was when I was going through a custody battle during my divorce back in 1983. I lost over 65 pounds back then. I looked like a living skeleton.
How could I eat? I used to ask myself, when my children aren’t here?
Once my divorce was finalized and I maintained custody of my children, I sat down at the dinner table to eat and I haven’t stopped since. That was thirty-seven years ago! I’ve long passed my acceptable weight for my height! But who’s counting?
If you remember, a few weeks ago I was intent on buying myself a new wardrobe (click here). I just wanted to re-invent myself. I had just come back from a two month vacation and I wanted a newer, fresher start. So, I bought a few designer pieces from Chico’s (3 pairs of slacks and some tops). From the time I placed the order to the time I received my free shipping, I had already lost 10 pounds. The clothes were too big and I sent everything back and got my money refunded. I’m going to forgo my fashionable re-boot for now.
I’m just under too much stress lately. I’m being hit from too many sides. Number 1, my entire family, on my father’s side, live in Italy. It’s a daily challenge to hear from them and know that all my cousins are well. They give me an account of what they are going through and it’s heart wrenching. Number 2, my own husband has so many health problems that should he even contract a sniffle of the Coronavirus, he may not make it. Number 3, my kids and grandkids continue to insist on living and working in New York City, the epicenter of the virus. NYC has the most amount of cases in the US (nearly 4,000 as of this writing, click here) and every day with them is another gut wrenching challenge. Again, I have a SIL who is so ill, that should he also get even a sniffle, he might not make it. That’s been a strain on my daughter and my granddaughter to know that their husband, their dad, is walking a fine line. He’s trapped inside their apartment.
Number 3, just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, I got a text from my SIL that my brother was rushed to the hospital with a fever and signs of the Coronavirus. Both my brother and his wife are retired doctors, so they know what’s going on. Number 4 (and I hope, lastly) my sister’s husband flew from Florida to Staten Island NY to bring his own 82 year old mother back to a nursing home in Florida. It was too dangerous for her to continue to live alone. She refused to fly the 3 hour flight back, so he drove for 4 days (with hotel stays) to get her back safely. Needless to say, upon being admitted in to the nursing home, within 24 hours, she went into cardiac arrest. The home revived her twice, put her on life support and she may have suffered brain damage. Currently, she’s on a respirator but it doesn’t look good.
Is it any wonder why I can’t eat?
I’m trying to keep my own life normal and stable. Music has been helping a lot. From the moment I wake up, till I fall asleep at night, I keep these two channels from Spotify playing:
I’ve managed to prepare this food concoction for myself, and I have been eating it almost daily. I made a chicken broth from some left over bones (I’m always the frugal one!). I tossed into the broth half an onion and some soon-to-expire fresh spinach leaves. I toss in some tortellini’s just before serving, a bit of Parmesan cheese and viola’ dinner (lunch and breakfast) is served. It’s about the best I can do right now.
I’m trying to think of some future projects I can do to help keep my mind off of everything. I’ve been living here for almost twenty years and I always wanted a vegetable garden. This year, I think that desire is going to come to fruition. I’ve been clipping instruction manuals and watching YouTube videos on square foot gardening. That’s growing a selection of veggies inside raised flower beds. Thankfully, I can buy them ready made on Amazon and I can start my own seedlings. I’m looking forward to making things grow rather than being destroyed. I’ve picked out a nice selection of herbs (basil, parsley, oregano etc.) and some vegetable seedlings ) tomatoes, eggplant, peppers, pea pods etc.)
I just wish Spotify had a playlist of ‘Things To Grow Veggies By’.